Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Under The Radar

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much.

There you have it! The apology. Hehehe :)  It's just that I was traveling to KL, then I came back and work crashed on me. The deadlines and the "while you were away...we did this and that". It was not as bad as I expected (probably because I was already syncing and filtering e-mails in KL...I know, workaholic sometimes, can't help it), but it was still odd to come back to work after 3 weeks, I had not forgotten what work felt like, but I had forgotten that I did indeed have a job and was somewhat of a success if that makes any sense.

See, I have two lives - my Norway life and my Malaysia life. When I went back, it was like I had gone back to my Malaysia personality 100%. In Norway I am independent, I make all my own decisions with very little influence (I am really stubborn), and I do everything myself. In Malaysia, I am this slighly pampered kid whose mom does almost everything for her - coffee, breakfast, laundry - and its like you automatically slip into that old shoes that you left behind. Life just continues where it left off. Granted so much of things have happened in Kuala Lumpur while I was away, in some ways, it felt like I had never left.

It was strange, the kind of comments I received. For a moment, there, I was disappointed with what people had to say. I think I kind of expected to hear things like "We are happy for you" or "It's good that you have a job in this bad economic situation" or something vaguely supportive rather than "When are you coming back for good?" "Why would you buy a place in Oslo if you don't have permanent plans of living there?" "Why can't you find a job in Singapore? It is so much nearer." "Why aren't you getting married yet?" "See, if you have time to make red bean buns in Norway, it means you have too much time in your hands." ... it was quite confusing, and very disappointing. Sometimes, you wish more people watched the cartoon Bambi, and took heart the advice "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Something nice would have been soothing, calming, and made me think "Ah, there is a reason to come back to Malaysia more frequently." .. but when people say such discouraging sentences to you, you just want to run away and never look back. Too bad they don't know that their advice has an adverse effect.

But I am over it, now that I am back in my comfort zone. In a strange way, I have made a simple life here. I like my life in Oslo and it has nothing to do with the fact that my family is far away. It's just that my job here is nice, after all said and done. I like being independent, standing on my own two feet, etc. Being an adult is fun in its own way.

I won't even compare Malaysia to Norway because they are two different countries. Each country has its own plus and minus points that its not fair to compare them. I have not decided where I would like to live in future, but I do know, that right at this moment, I just want to "Be". I have a great apartment (that I wish I owned), I have great friends, I have annoying colleagues, I have nice colleagues, I have a strange boss, I have temporary but awesome photography skills (been that way the past few days, I hope to keep the lucky streak I am having), I cook alright food, I have too many black tops, and I have some nice acquaintances. I like things as they are right now. Not every 24 year old needs to be married and having kids just yet. Not everyone wants to be married at 24 years old and worry about house mortgages and child education insurance policies.

But, everyone wants to be listened to at some point - to be given a chance to do what makes them happy, because life is too short to not live it your way, with your own rules and your own mind. It's just not right to tell people how to live their lives. Someday, I hope to cure THAT disease. For now, I will just.. Be.


At 12/05/2008 12:55:00 AM , Anonymous Chris said...

You said, "But, everyone wants to be listened to at some point - to be given a chance to do what makes them happy". You are so right .. but most people don't think that. It's do as they say, as they do. I just want a chance to do what makes me happy too ..

At 12/05/2008 07:32:00 AM , Blogger Fieran said...

@Chris: True. Good luck, I hope you find what makes you happy and get to do it without anybody telling you what to do :)


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