Monday, July 13, 2009

It Took 7 Months...

I'm starting to look a tad better in the mirror. I guess the 7 months of slogging it out in the gym is starting to help. I didn't think it would take 7 months of gym workouts to get there...I was hoping in 3 months I would be happier with my appearance.

The thing about living in Norway is that Norwegian women are gorgeous. They are very long-limbed and most of them are very sporty so they look very nice. Not many of them look like me - belly, lovehandles, etc ;) So I set out on this journey - to start toning up - when I was really depressed over work-related stuff early this year. I guess I am almost halfway there...maybe in another 7 months I will stop subconsciously buying clothing that hides my belly.

So how was your weekend? On Saturday I hung out with my friend from Romania, I*. Took her to get her hair restyled. See I* is in an acidic relationship. Her boyfriend has ruined her self esteem. I think she once was this really confident, happy person...some days I get a glimpse of the real her. Other days she is so sad, and has almost no self-esteem - at all. The girl wears Extra Small clothing, but tells me she is fat. It seems her boyfriend calls her a whale...but she's tiny! She barely eats anything but junkfood. Strangely, I watched her wolf down pasta on Saturday, simple pasta (though the chef was Italian) with tomato and basil sauce. She said her boyfriend doesn't eat pasta, so she doesn't cook it, but she likes pasta. It's scary how picking the wrong guy can lead to a person losing so much of their individuality.

It's her birthday next week but her boyfriend doesn't want to take her anywhere. I offered to take her to a movie and dinner with wine as she loves wine. She said "But you don't drink..." and I said "We'll get you wine, and we'll get me coffee." That seemed to make her happy. Her boyfriend does not let her shop, or do anything to make herself feel better. He's against her dying her hair (she has some grey strands) so she won't do it. He doesn't like the colour black so she won't wear anything black. He doesn't like her to buy shoes or bags so she doesn't buy shoes or bags. She sneaks around and shops, asking sales assistants to cover the price tag of clothing she has purchased. Imagine that! It's so weird. If I give her cheesecake, she gives it all to him saying "He likes cheesecake." I thought it was always she who liked cheesecake, because she used to say "We like cheesecake". Looks like he = we, and there is no "I" in her vocabulary anymore. He won't eat out because he believes food made outside of their home is "dirty". He won't watch movies in the cinema. He doesn't like to hang out with her friends (not that I want to meet him, I might end up hurting him).

I have watched my parents for so many years...they have a very nice relationship. My Mom won't make Dad do anything he doesn't want to do, she always gives him the option to say no. Likewise, my Dad won't make Mom do anything she doesn't want to do. My Dad only wears clothing that he likes, and my Mom the same. But it doesn't stop there - my mother dyes her grey streaks, my father wears his proudly. They have a really nice relationship, having managed to retain their individuality despite being married for almost 30 years. No matter how angry my Dad gets when my Mom knocks the car (it's one of the few things he really gets annoyed about), my Mom will still tell him the truth and accept his anger. She won't lie, at all. She shops as she likes, with money that he gives her because she's a housewife. My Mom is very good at managing money though :) But my point is that she doesn't have to sneak around and buy things. She just tells the truth and it works out fine.

So coming from a background like this, you can imagine my shock at I*'s relationship. I feel so bad for her, but I don't know how to help her. I have told her many times that when I am away on vacation, or even when I am around, she can come stay with me - if she wants to clear her head or decide on the course of her future (and hopefully dump that guy!). Unfortunately you can only lead a horse to the stream, you can't make it drink the water. Hence, she has to make her decision. Till then she can always count on having a fun time when we hang out.

Saturday evening I watched a Hindi movie with my friend N*. She's a human rights lawyer who is relocating for a year to pursue other opportunities. I'm going to miss her. When you talk to N*, you will get the most practical, no-nonsense suggestions and answers. That is just how she is - black and white. She actually feels guilty for working in an air-conditioned office as she feels that's not a real job for a human rights lawyer. She wants to be in troubled countries and help fix the problems there. You can imagine my surprise when she told me she enjoyed watching Bollywood movies - especially the ones with the most singing and dancing. Hehehe, people are amusing :)

On Sunday, I went to the gym and cooked Navrattan pulao. It was very yummy. Simple vegetarian dish with some paneer, cashew nuts and raisins.


At 7/16/2009 12:28:00 AM , Blogger Sriram P said...

hei there... I came across your blog online somehow and read that u r also an Indian expat living in Norway... So thought will leave a comment.. although this comment has nothing to do with your blog post..

At 7/20/2009 07:03:00 PM , Blogger Sha said...

trust me, some guys (and girls) have a way to damage one's self-esteem etc...

been there babe...and got back with some bruises but healing....


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