Wednesday, November 09, 2005

...of Exams and Disappointments

You know what's bad? You repeatedly study for various subjects...you pour your heart into it. Spend hours, days...studying the same thing over and over again. Then, you sit for the exam. But, you come out with no satisfaction...because whatever you studied just did not come out. The exam questions either look remotely familiar, or just plain unfamiliar. It's just so disappointing; so frustrating. I feel like strangling someone. Really. I'm not a violent person, but if *I* can feel like that, then you can imagine how frustrating it is.

That's how my exam went today. I don't think its my fault. I did my best. I studied, I attended every single lecture. I tried. I did all the past-year questions, practice exams, revised tutorials, attended a consultation session. So, I shouldn't feel bad. Hah. Easier said than done. Why is it so hard? Why is everything I undertake so hard?

I can't seem to get any replies for my internship applications. Am I that bad an applicant? I do have alright grades, previous work experiences, etc. But, still no reply. I have to resort to asking people, family friends, relatives, if they know others who are looking for an engineering intern. It irritates me that I have to "pull string". Why can't I get what I deserve? Why can't somebody find my resume worthwhile and offer me an internship? I'm not asking for a million dollars - just a chance to learn. That's all. It's sixty days. I didn't even state a requirement for salary. It's okay if they don't pay me. Really. Just sign my internship form from the university and let me learn. Why is that so hard?

Sometimes its just so unfair. You spend so many years of your life...studying like crazy, sacrificing so many things to achieve your dream...only to sit back and wonder...is it even worth it?

Nah, I'm not giving up. That's my problem. I'm just too stubborn. Yeah, I'll complain, mope, whine, rant, ramble, grumble....but I'll still be here. I'm just too stubborn for my own good I guess. Too thick-skinned to take no for an answer.

2 Comments:

At 11/09/2005 09:53:00 PM , Blogger shari said...

yahoo..u'll be back in M'sia soon :)

 
At 11/11/2005 01:05:00 AM , Anonymous Sher said...

Let's be positive! I know you can make it through! Seriously don't give up!

 

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