Failure

Well my thesis device didn't work much. It was extremely embarassing to stand there at the demonstration session and say "err, yeah this is my design but nothing really worked..." not that I said those lines exactly, but it was what I implied. One year's work - all for naught; down the drains.

I guess sometimes you need to fail a bit to realise what success means..

It sure is a bitter pill to swallow. With the lack of supervision from you-know-who and almost no help, it was so hard to even come up with that device. Doesn't make it easier when three of your friends get awards for the projects. I'm not jealous. I'm happy for them...I even congratulated them. But I feel sad that I didn't even get mine up and working.

Sometimes there is only so much disappointment you can handle. Makes you want to stop expecting anything at all...just give up all your expectations...I wish I could do that. I expected my thesis to work at least. I expected you-know-who to be supportive because I was his student...I expected some answers/hints/suggestions...but I got nothing at all from him.

Just so much disappointment in the end...makes you feel broken beyond words or tears for that matter.

I tried to cheer myself up by going shopping (picked up a pair of funky pants from Sportsgirl) and watching a movie. I also attended IH's valedictory dinner. Some stupid guy threw up near me...got my top a little icky.

My jovial mood was only temporary though. All someone had to do was mention my thesis on MSN, then the mood hit again...