Ushering In The New Year..

Well, most people will be busy counting down in a few hours time. I am at home - about to finish cleaning up my room (Gosh, the junk you accumulate in 2 years!) and watch a movie on DVD.

I liked 2006 - I have learned a lot about people and even myself for that matter. I also graduated (still hasn't sunk in!) and have one full time job (starting in April). So I guess I can't really complain.

I've done/experienced a lot of things that I didn't think I would have 5 years ago. True - I didn't get to work where I really wanted to..but maybe it is for the better. After all it is time I started relying on myself and supporting myself rather than expect others to finance more of my dreams.

So, Happy New Year to all of you! Have lots of fun :)

Walk like a Man, Talk like a Man...and Write like a Man?

....and I thought I was female. How disappointing :(

Back...Till Something Attractive Comes Along

Well, I am back for the moment. I won't say "Back for good" because in event I do get a job far from home I plan to take it. It's difficult to describe exactly how I feel - after living far away from home for 2 years. It's like I am two people - the independent, almost fearless person (surprised myself many times) who was in Aust, and the meek, slightly dependent person I am in Malaysia. I automatically change when I am home. It's like being in an entirely different situation. I guess a lot of people go through it - perhaps at some point of their lives - when you grow to be someone else and start to define yourself in your own way.

Well, I haven't been up to much. Will write more soon. I also have to post some pictures. Till then, take care and have a good new year ahead.

I still have to decide what my New Year's Resolution is...

Coffee, coffee, coffee..

I like reading in a busy place, all lost in my book - with a nice cup of coffee in front of me. That's what I have been up to the past few days. I am still reading The Romanov Prophecy by Steve Berry. It's quite interesting - gives you such an interesting, intriguing picture of Russia. I admit my world history is lousy so I had to read up a bit (and ask Mike a lot) about Russia's history to understand the book. I am halfway through it..planning to finish it on the plane. It is slightly Dan Brownish, but you can't blame writers for having similar writing styles.

Apart from that, I rode on a truck yesterday - the movers type. It was huge. My friend Nerida rented it to move stuff from college to her gorgeous apartment in West End. Yeah, some people have all the luck :) There was a time when I would have killed to move out of college and have my own apartment. Well I don't necessarily want to own one, but living in one would be cool. Hey, even the occasional flat-mate-from-hell would be tolerable if the apartment was gorgeous. (I have had my share of floor-mates-from-hell here...really!)

Oh well...I think there is some sort of quota in the whole balance of life - you only get a few things on your wish list, more than that - you have to waste the rest of your life pining away....

Reflecting..

Well, I leave Australia in less than 3 days. It's very scary to be honest. I'm such a different person now, compared to who I was 2 years ago. Living on your own and having to make all your own decisions from what to eat to where to live .. and having to depend solely on yourself (except for the $$ factor) does have a way of changing how you think.

It's disappointing how people around you don't normally accept the fact that you have changed. They will constantly expect you to be the same person and fit comfortably back into your old mould. Why do some people think of change as negative? What is so wrong about change? I mean, isn't life centered around change? People are constantly evolving - from the moment they are born till the moment they are returned to the ground, right? So why do people resent change? What's wrong if a person wants things in his or her life which he or she previously did not want? So, what?

I realised I don't have that many pictures of myself in Australia. Funny how it doesn't really matter because I don't have to show people what I saw here. As long as I enjoyed myself and learnt a lot of things - and of course, graduated (still hasn't really sunk in)...it's fine.

I know, my post is a little bit defensive. It's just difficult to have to explain to people all the time - nobody wants to let you be. Everybody wants to tell you what to do. Some people just dont believe that you know how to pack up your room - that you're an adult, almost 23 years old and you know how to put all your stuff away and board a flight. After all, isn't that what you did for the past 2 years? There's no such thing as space in my life. None at all.

I'm dreading going home...I've begun to really like my space. I do what I like, when I like - without having to explain anything to anybody. I won't get that back home. My tendency to be in my room, read and daydream is not something my family approves of. But then again, they never really approve of much when it comes to me...

So Cute!

My sister's friend sent her this picture. I think its hilarious.

On a less morbid note, I graduated. Somehow, I don't think its anything grand...kept staring at my degree wondering if it was worth the money my dad spent on it...

Not much luck with working in Australia. Oh well, some things happen for the better - after all, smart people make the best of their opportunities right? Not happy about it, but its time I learned how to handle disappointments in a less self-destructive, depressive manner...

It has been said that in times of need you will discover the true colours of the people around you. This could not be more true...

I sit in front of the computer every single day applying for job after job. It's very frustrating...a bit disappointing too when you realise that they don't want to accept you because you didn't take 3 particular subjects in uni :) Hahaha. Weird huh.

Anyway, I'm still hanging in there. Keeping my fingers crossed. We'll see what happens.

Well...

I have secured one job here..it's a part time one though because the company is not really in a position to hire me full time. What can I say? My services are pricey - okay maybe that did not come out too well. Hehehe. But yeah, it's part time for the time being...but I am allowed to work at another company. I'd love to go into the details but as usual - my blog is the least secure place to discuss personal things because you never know who reads it. I still am the first 'hit' you get when you search "Fieran" in Google. It's a bit scary to be honest.

So yeah, still looking for 1 more job - to make ends meet. Wish me luck. Hey, if I remain in Australia - you guys have a place to crash at when you're here. Come on, that's useful right? Okay maybe I might send gifts to a few of you too ;) Now, now this isn't bribe...it's.....a tip ;) Hahahaha. Wish me luck! I'll be nice to you when I am rich and established. Promise. I might even be a silent partner in your businesses - come see me in 10-15 years' time. I'll be very eager to invest in a cafe or a bookstore - only rule is I get some free merchandise and a percentage of the profit ;) I don't think that is too much to ask for...but then again I always think my demands are little.

You know what's annoying? It's when you turn on GoogleTalk the whole day to monitor arrival of new e-mail because you are anticipating job-related e-mails and then you get a whole load of crap mail. ARGH!!!!!!!!

Just For The Record..

1. Job hunting sucks.
2. I am going to cry if I have to write another cover letter.
3. How do you squeeze your resume into 2 pages, if you have 3 references hanging off at the top of the 3rd page? Make font into Size 8?

Conflicts...Again

Sometimes you have to do what you want. A lot of people don't understand that - in the sense that they think "She's changed, she no longer wants to do what we thought she would do." Well, true enough, but then some people should realise that at the end of the day - we all live for ourselves.

No matter how much you want to please another person, you have yourself to deal with. After all said and done, you have to look in the mirror and face yourself. I cannot do that, knowing that by going back to Malaysia, I might actually be turning down so many career opportunities...so many possible chances of succeeding.

Yes, smart people are people who make opportunities for themselves. Very true, but what if you see opportunities in which you can actually succeed - yet you choose to go back home just to please people at home? Isn't that being stupid? Isn't that just not being true to yourself? What's wrong with working far from home? What's so bad about that? I don't get that...I really don't.

Why would I study for so many years, give up so many things, only to go and work in a job I don't even like? Of course, you can say "How would you know if you don't try?" But in this case, there is no option of "Trying" because by "Trying" it means going back to Malaysia and losing my 2 years of stay here (which actually makes me eligible for some papers)...it means working in a job where my heart isn't there.

Funny how the person who told me that I have changed, is the same person who hated her job which was not related to what she studied. She was so miserable there...yet when it is someone else, her reaction is entirely opposite. Double standards at its best, huh.

What Type of Blogger am I?

You scored as The Journalist.

You love recording. You record the events that happened to you during the day, and you usually note them down in a fluent and formal language. You normally receive a lot of props and comments since you are sociable and it is comparatively easy to give you a comment. Seldom will a journalist write about his/her VERY personal feelings on a blog – secrets are secrets to them!

The Journalist		67%
The Philosopher		59%
The Paparazzi		58%
The Photographer		50%
The Copy-Cat		50%
The Shouter		42%
The Writer		42%
The Addict		25%
The Lover		0%

Which type of Xangan/Blogger are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Vivid Dreams

I woke up this morning and as I was lying on my bed I thought I heard people speaking Tamil. I looked around and wondered if I was home already. I swear it felt so odd being in my IH room and hearing people speak Tamil. Then I quickly washed up, got dressed and opened the door...and I remembered that my housemate mentioned she and her parents were coming to attend their brother's graduation. Hahahaha, my mind played tricks on me I guess. But really, for a moment I thought I was home :| Instead of sitting here all bored and doing nothing. Mom, sister and brother in law have gone to Singapore to do wedding shopping. I'm so sad - I wanted to go too! :(

Keeping to my words...

Well, I did promise something interesting in 5-6 days..from my last post.

I got a job offer in Australia. It's a very interesting post - more IT than Engineering based, actually, but I would really like to take up the job if the salary/visa can be settled. I meet with my possible employers next week...to discuss all this.

We'll see what happens...

So you never know, I just might end up staying here a few more years. Seems odd, considering how I kind of brain-washed myself to going home and working at a bank...despite knowing its not what I really want. It's difficult to work in a field where you know nothing of, not to mention that you've spent your many years chasing after technical stuff. I won't say I am being fussy...it's just that I know what I am looking for to a certain extent. That's it.

I am 1% short of a Distinction for my Microeconomics paper...also got my thesis write up marks..not very impressive I must say. But after all said and done - it was a good experience, ahh the wonders of the academic life - definitely not for me. You won't see me wanting to do a PhD..though the idea of being referred to as "Dr something" does sound impressive. But nah, what's in a name? :)